This damn cat Hallie, she's clawed her way to a tipping point. I apologize for not updating the blog over the past few days. I would have, but my hand has been unusable after Hallie had her way with it. Let me go through the atrocities Hallie has committed in just a week:
1. Scratched me on the hand. It hurt.
2. Scratched me on the inside of my forearm. It bled.
3. Jumped up behind the TV and shut the whole entertainment system down by turning the power off.
4. Threw up on the stairs.
Atrocity No. 2 was the most painful for me. Atrocity No. 3 was the worst for Nick. And Atrocity No. 4 was bad for everyone.
To pay Hallie back, I doused her with a cup of water last night. She got all wet and ran under Nick's bed whining like a little bitch. Nick was initially upset but REMEMBER ATROCITY NO. 3, NICK.
The sad news is that Hallie is growing up and she's growing up terribly. The stuff that used to be cute is now just annoying. It's time to bring to life the namesake of this blog's URL and rally public opinion in our favor. Please vote in our poll to the right.
My closing argument is a quote from Stephen Colbert: "I love kittens, and I will continue to do so until the moment they become cats."
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ReplyDeleteRe #4, cats throw up when they're stressed... and you're stressful. Just saying.
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