I Will Not Play With You in a Box; I Will Not Play With You With a Fox

Ahh! This damn cat Hallie, she has so many diseases that there aren't enough names in the Oxford English dictionary to describe her. Whatever the opposite of claustrophobia is, she has it. If you ever come over to our house, do not bring an empty box.

Here's why: Hallie will get into that box. It doesn't matter what kind of box. It doesn't matter the size of said box. The box is no longer yours. It belongs to the cat. If you stand it up so that the open end is two feet off the ground, Hallie will tip it over with her stupid face and then scurry inside like a raccoon by a dumpster behind Chili's on one-dollar sliders night. Do they have sliders at Chili's? I've never been.

Also, bags. Hallie loves bags. She loves climbing in them and ruining them so much that the joke "the cat's out of the bag" isn't funny anymore. Because it's not true. The cat isn't out of the bag.

It's in the bag!!