This damn cat Hallie thinks she owns the place, but she doesn't even pay rent, much less chip in for groceries. She's even a fugitive in our community, because technically she was supposed to pay a $400 fee for living in our house, but she skirted it. Cheap cat.So it's no surprise that the cat tries to mooch off of us whenever she can. Mostly when I'm eating dinner. Oh, Hallie thinks she gets to eat my spaghetti. Oh, Hallie thinks she gets to nip at my chips. Oh, Hallie thinks she can lick my cheddar cheese cubes and rub her nasty nose all over my glass of store-brand cola. Did you pay the 79 cents for that store-brand cola, Hallie? No. You didn't.
Hallie knows no bounds physically, so no matter where I put my food, she can get to it. She jumps on the coffee table from the floor. Then she uses my leg as a stepping stone to the corner table, where I've moved my food from the coffee table. Then she flies down to the floor and runs around again and starts the whole process over, making my dinner part meal and part calisthenics for both of us.
Next time, I'm having Hallie for dinner.
Even if you ate her for dinner, she'd probably try to steal your food posthumously...
ReplyDeleteHallie pays $.01 per month.
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ReplyDeleteThat's $0.12 a year. Which, when you think about it, is probably a lot for a cat... Finding that kind of change around the complex has to be difficult. And she only gets outside every so often... Maybe if some people would sign up with her sports marketing agency...
ReplyDeleteI didn't know she was an illegal resident! Also, I'd like to see a cat try to eat spaghetti.
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